Long Time Coming

It's been.. about 165 days since I've posted last. Another birthday swept past relatively unnoticed, I did, actually, fail two of my classes that quarter, and I now live with Jared and Dani.

So, first I'll reply to myself.. the Apartment is much less filthy now, my room hasn't changed much but the rest of the place has. Far more credit is due to Jared and Dani than myself for that, though. Photography's fallen by the wayside. Other things to do, mostly. I got a D in my Freshman Seminar class. Picked myself up, tried a little harder, failed English again but got B's in both Logic and Microecon. This quarter I'm taking most of my classes on campus. We'll see how that goes, I'm kind of concerned about my Speech class.. it seems like it involves more work than my other three classes. Fun. Creative Writing, Aelora, Go, Design, Servers, SRCG and Game Design. None of this has happened, because I've been trying to work on school and being somewhat more sociable. I don't think it will, in the near future, either. I'm more concerned about school and I'd much rather focus on that than everything else.

It's remarkably fascinating how quickly one's entire mood can shift, from what appears to almost be depression into something infinitely more bearable. I would dare say that I'm almost happy right now. There are certainly things that aren't going as well as I'd like, but there are plenty of things that are going much better than could have been expected, six months ago. In four weeks, I will have been back here at this company for exactly a year. I'm OK with that. I've been a full time employee for 6 months and a few days. My time spent in Seattle still sits in the back of my mind, progressively shading everything that I process in terms of my life and my greater goals. Out in Seattle, I realized that I don't want to pursue a technical field. They're too rigid, too static. Certainly, there is a huge amount of growth in the technical fields, with technological leaps occuring at ever-increasing rates. But vertical growth isn't the only thing important to me. Horizontal is too, lateral movement is absolutely necessary.

Because of this, and numerous other experiences from my life, I've decided that Philosophy is the field I am going to pursue. I'm going to take it a single step at a time, but I know where those steps are going. I plan to get my AA or AS from Columbus State, then to get my BA in Philosophy from Ohio State, and then I will pursue a PhD program, somewhere. I will see where I am when I've got that BA and that will help decide what graduate schools I apply to. That is my plan, and that's where I'm going. Wish me luck, as it's a long road to travel.

Happiness and People

So, they offered me a job with the caveat that I would need to commit to some amount of overtime. I took it. If I can keep myself balanced, I can withstand this job. That, mind you, is the crux of it all.. I've started realizing what I need to do to keep myself balanced, but it isn't always easy. One big thing, is I need a more active social life. It's been slowly growing, but it still isn't large enough.

On this note, I've been wondering about something.. I often come across as an Introvert. I've been contemplating if my deep introversion through High School might not have had something to do with middle/junior high school.. all of the fighting I got into, I wound up basically hating everything around me and it's rather hard to extravert when you feel nothing but rage for 95% of the people around you. I might be wrong, but it just seems like the events line up.. once I got into High School, I was basically already shut down.

I guess the point of this.. is that I've been slowly working and kneading myself into a new mold. I'm sick of being an irritable introvert, truthfully. I actually -like- being outgoing and sociable. I mean, regardless of how you look at it, I do know I'm an extravert. I think that my self-image is in such disrepair that I feel like a fool for being outgoing.. that strikes me as an inherently stressful arrangement. "Hey! I love being outgoing! But I feel like an idiot for doing it!"

I've realized that being a fool really.. isn't that bad.

So, my goal as of late is to just consume new things. As Jared says, I've become a Consumer Whore. ^_^ When I go and meet new people, talk to strangers.. go dancing at Axis.. I feel absolutely rejuvenated. It's just energizing.. the problem, truthfully, is that I just don't have enough links.. enough of a network, to really get to many new people. I'm hoping taking classes will help alleviate that a bit.

Anywho. That's that. Life's going reasonably well in my futile little existence.

Quick Recap.. Philosophy in Schools

The problem with routine is that the more consistent your schedule, the quicker time slips past. It's been far, far too long since I've last posted. I started writing a post on Introverted Thinking, but it's since stalled. It was getting absurdly long, truth be told. I may review it, chop it up, and post it in chunks.

So, registration for Classes at Columbus State starts in less than two weeks. July 23rd, to be exact. Once James gets his transcripts from DeVry, hopefully we'll be able to head down there to take their little placement tests. Once that's done, I'll be registering for the basic classes. Probably English 111 and Humanities 111. In addition to the stupid little Freshman Seminar they make people take. It was useless at OSU, it'll likely be even more useless at CSCC.

I've solidified on pursuing both English and Philosophy. I think I would enjoy a position as a Game writer but I think I've found my higher calling, if you will. I have a deep need to help move Philosophy a step forward.. it is in a sad state currently, widely disregarded and almost disrespected. The ethical state of our country's corporations is just pitiful. Our students.. they are indoctrinated by our schools to become mindless sheep. Taught to be pure simpletons. If there is nothing else I can do in my life, I will try to coerce more people into asking themselves 'Why?'. This question is emotionally bludgeoned from our minds as small children, and we are accosted from youth whenever we ask it. What those who would teach our children desperately need to realize is that if you can't answer 'Why', then you have no right answering 'How'. We need to foster the analytical mind in our children, to coax them into asking 'Why' more frequently.

Now, before someone decides to become a smart ass and ask me 'Why', it's simple. To have a complete understanding of some concept, abstract or elsewise, you must explore it. Exploration is inherently the act of asking 'Why', of questioning. We are doing our children a sincere injustice by slowly squeezing this curiosity out of them.