Time does move profoundly fast occasionally. It's only been 12 days since my last post, though, so I seem to have caught it reasonably quickly this time. I would like to return to posting at least once per week, but that may or may not occur, truthfully.. I just don't have terribly much to say about much of anything.
The power went out due to the rather insane windstorm this previous Sunday, so that was interesting. Classes start next Wednesday, so that should be interesting. I think I may discuss my work, there, on here. Someone might find it fun to read. Meanwhile, I think I've officially decided that Photography is my latest hobby. Of course, I doubt anyone would be particularly surprised by that.
My next major purchase is going to be a vehicle, of some form. I need more reliable transportation from point to point, so hopefully I'll be able to gather up enough funding to purchase myself a small beater that'll do when necessary. Beyond that, I'll probably start saving for Photo gear and/or a Laptop. Both, I think, would serve me well.
So, I've been contemplating the intersection of Ethics and Journalism as of late.. I find it interesting that it seems the code of ethics that sit within Journalism's walls is slowly disappearing. Faded by corporate interests and power grabs, it seems that a large piece of modern journalism just entirely misses the point.
I suspect this has to do with the return to individuals standing on their soapboxes, preaching about whatever ills them. In addition to this, there's an insidious creep across the board of people trying to talk about incredibly complex issues and missing entire pieces of it. To really talk about some modern issues, you truly need to comprehend it from multiple places. I wish I could give concrete examples of this, but as of right now it's just an idea that's bouncing around and kind of sinking a root or two into my deeper thoughts. If you want more, go read up on Media Bias.
On yet another random topic, I need to pursue personal fitness more thoroughly. Once I get more of the apartment clean, especially either my bedroom or the living room, I think I may start doing a minor workout routine. Additionally, I suspect it would behoove me to start going for bike rides occasionally.
Finally, I have an idea for an article about the vagaries of Ni and Ne bouncing about.. I may work on that later, but it strikes me as being a similar form of miscommunication as there stands between Ti and Te. It isn't always a negative thing, but it can definitely cause misunderstandings. Generally, I suspect, in intent. More on that later.
Randomly long post for you, if you have any thoughts, drop me a line.
Contemplations of a Tainted Mind
Showing posts with label Plans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Plans. Show all posts
9.16.2008
7.10.2008
Quick Recap.. Philosophy in Schools
The problem with routine is that the more consistent your schedule, the quicker time slips past. It's been far, far too long since I've last posted. I started writing a post on Introverted Thinking, but it's since stalled. It was getting absurdly long, truth be told. I may review it, chop it up, and post it in chunks.
So, registration for Classes at Columbus State starts in less than two weeks. July 23rd, to be exact. Once James gets his transcripts from DeVry, hopefully we'll be able to head down there to take their little placement tests. Once that's done, I'll be registering for the basic classes. Probably English 111 and Humanities 111. In addition to the stupid little Freshman Seminar they make people take. It was useless at OSU, it'll likely be even more useless at CSCC.
I've solidified on pursuing both English and Philosophy. I think I would enjoy a position as a Game writer but I think I've found my higher calling, if you will. I have a deep need to help move Philosophy a step forward.. it is in a sad state currently, widely disregarded and almost disrespected. The ethical state of our country's corporations is just pitiful. Our students.. they are indoctrinated by our schools to become mindless sheep. Taught to be pure simpletons. If there is nothing else I can do in my life, I will try to coerce more people into asking themselves 'Why?'. This question is emotionally bludgeoned from our minds as small children, and we are accosted from youth whenever we ask it. What those who would teach our children desperately need to realize is that if you can't answer 'Why', then you have no right answering 'How'. We need to foster the analytical mind in our children, to coax them into asking 'Why' more frequently.
Now, before someone decides to become a smart ass and ask me 'Why', it's simple. To have a complete understanding of some concept, abstract or elsewise, you must explore it. Exploration is inherently the act of asking 'Why', of questioning. We are doing our children a sincere injustice by slowly squeezing this curiosity out of them.
So, registration for Classes at Columbus State starts in less than two weeks. July 23rd, to be exact. Once James gets his transcripts from DeVry, hopefully we'll be able to head down there to take their little placement tests. Once that's done, I'll be registering for the basic classes. Probably English 111 and Humanities 111. In addition to the stupid little Freshman Seminar they make people take. It was useless at OSU, it'll likely be even more useless at CSCC.
I've solidified on pursuing both English and Philosophy. I think I would enjoy a position as a Game writer but I think I've found my higher calling, if you will. I have a deep need to help move Philosophy a step forward.. it is in a sad state currently, widely disregarded and almost disrespected. The ethical state of our country's corporations is just pitiful. Our students.. they are indoctrinated by our schools to become mindless sheep. Taught to be pure simpletons. If there is nothing else I can do in my life, I will try to coerce more people into asking themselves 'Why?'. This question is emotionally bludgeoned from our minds as small children, and we are accosted from youth whenever we ask it. What those who would teach our children desperately need to realize is that if you can't answer 'Why', then you have no right answering 'How'. We need to foster the analytical mind in our children, to coax them into asking 'Why' more frequently.
Now, before someone decides to become a smart ass and ask me 'Why', it's simple. To have a complete understanding of some concept, abstract or elsewise, you must explore it. Exploration is inherently the act of asking 'Why', of questioning. We are doing our children a sincere injustice by slowly squeezing this curiosity out of them.
5.21.2008
Thoughts about the Future
I'm alive, albeit barely some days. I'm slowly massaging myself, I think, into a fair routine in regards to it. I come in, I do my job.. I do the immediate work they ask for, and trawl about for other work to keep myself busy with the rest of the day. Hopefully, it'll be enough to get myself through school. I've been thinking, as I tend to, and I've decided I do want to pursue a degree in English. Resources willing, I'd even like to continue on to get a BA in Philosophy. This weekend, phase one of my room will be completed. It's remarkably clean right now, and we're buying basic supplies for a new desk sometime this weekend. We'll get that assembled and, hopefully, I'll have my workspace ready.
Y'see, I've realized that it's hard to do any honest work in a cluttered atmosphere. At least, for me it is.. I don't know why. So, I now have a goal.. a plan, of sorts. I've got a budget flowing, reasonably well. I'm not doing the best that I could to stick to it, but I enjoy my creature comforts. Oh well. I'm not real sure, necessarily, what I want to do after I manage to get through school, but I do know that it entails something in the publishing sphere. A couple possibilities I've been entertaining are doing something Mike wants to do.. teaching English. In Japan. Yeah. A BA in English is pretty much the exact credential one could possibly want to do that. I want to write, and maybe, if I'm luckily, I'll manage to pull something publishable out of my arse in the next few years. Flexing my social network has made me realize something astounding. All of my contacts, all of my friends, all of my connections.. they're all creatives. There is very little by way of truly technical.. force, I guess, in my network. This amuses greatly.
Finally, for those that are curious about how I might really reconcile my passions, well.. I figured that out today. I'll do what I've always done.. write for games. See, I've always loved writing story, missions, quests, whatnot for games. Ideally, then, I might get a job as a writer in the game industry. Just a thought. Anywho, it's bedtime, so yeah.
Y'see, I've realized that it's hard to do any honest work in a cluttered atmosphere. At least, for me it is.. I don't know why. So, I now have a goal.. a plan, of sorts. I've got a budget flowing, reasonably well. I'm not doing the best that I could to stick to it, but I enjoy my creature comforts. Oh well. I'm not real sure, necessarily, what I want to do after I manage to get through school, but I do know that it entails something in the publishing sphere. A couple possibilities I've been entertaining are doing something Mike wants to do.. teaching English. In Japan. Yeah. A BA in English is pretty much the exact credential one could possibly want to do that. I want to write, and maybe, if I'm luckily, I'll manage to pull something publishable out of my arse in the next few years. Flexing my social network has made me realize something astounding. All of my contacts, all of my friends, all of my connections.. they're all creatives. There is very little by way of truly technical.. force, I guess, in my network. This amuses greatly.
Finally, for those that are curious about how I might really reconcile my passions, well.. I figured that out today. I'll do what I've always done.. write for games. See, I've always loved writing story, missions, quests, whatnot for games. Ideally, then, I might get a job as a writer in the game industry. Just a thought. Anywho, it's bedtime, so yeah.
5.06.2008
I'm back at the Hill.
So, it's been awhile since I've posted. Been busy. Catching up with stuff, getting back to work, etc etc. I'm here, at work, back at International CS. There's even less work now than there was before I left. So, I've got another one of those silly little dilemnas I get into.. this one, I suspect, is a small bit unique and doesn't really have much long-ranging impact necessarily nor obviously.
There is a full-time position open here, for a regular Domestic HEP Customer Service. My supervisor suggested I apply for it, as it would get me into the actual company. Now, I would rather work here in International, but HR won't hire on any additional people for this department. So I'm this weird sort of non-proto-employee for us.
So, this is how it goes. I currently work as a temporary for International. I can apply for a position in Domestic HEP. If I get it, I might eventually be able to transfer back over to International, rejoining the group for a third time. If I don't get that job, I will remain a temp in International. Now, say I do get it, but can't transfer. Then there's this issue that I may get extremely frustrated working in Domestic HEP. It's very boring, very simple, and fairly busy. International is essentially the opposite. There are many interesting personalities to deal with, there are multiple layers of complexity beyond regular orders, and it's fairly slow. If I, say, get the job in Domestic HEP, I may well end up trapped there. The unfortunate part, is that if I don't get it, I also may end up here as a temp for the foreseeable future. I'm not particularly sure what to do at this point.. any advice is wholly welcome.
More later, I'm sure.
There is a full-time position open here, for a regular Domestic HEP Customer Service. My supervisor suggested I apply for it, as it would get me into the actual company. Now, I would rather work here in International, but HR won't hire on any additional people for this department. So I'm this weird sort of non-proto-employee for us.
So, this is how it goes. I currently work as a temporary for International. I can apply for a position in Domestic HEP. If I get it, I might eventually be able to transfer back over to International, rejoining the group for a third time. If I don't get that job, I will remain a temp in International. Now, say I do get it, but can't transfer. Then there's this issue that I may get extremely frustrated working in Domestic HEP. It's very boring, very simple, and fairly busy. International is essentially the opposite. There are many interesting personalities to deal with, there are multiple layers of complexity beyond regular orders, and it's fairly slow. If I, say, get the job in Domestic HEP, I may well end up trapped there. The unfortunate part, is that if I don't get it, I also may end up here as a temp for the foreseeable future. I'm not particularly sure what to do at this point.. any advice is wholly welcome.
More later, I'm sure.
2.22.2008
Mobile Thoughts, Augmented Gaming
So, I'm having trouble really organizing my thoughts into something particularly relevant to post. The reasons for this are pretty clear and straightforward to me, and I'm sure plenty other people can probably fully understand them. Others will feel it's completely alien. You see, my mind is bouncing around. A lot. This is good. My intuition is picking up every little scrap of thing it can find and assimilating it, working it over, and pushing it to its farthest extreme. When you have so many ideas and thoughts streaming through your mind, it's hard to focus on one thread, pluck it out, and really put it into words. And, in all honesty, I don't really feel the need to. Yeah, it's comforting to me. It's a sensation I haven't really had the pleasure of experiencing for awhile. This, mind you, was the core and original reason for moving to Seattle. To kick start my brain's relational engine. It's working, and hopefully I'll be able to keep it flowing and maybe even amplify it. Let's see if I can't at least pluck a few little strands out for you.
First, I've been linking up my plans. This is different from what I've been doing previously, where I've been more or less just contemplating the various possibilities. Now, I'm actually tying all of them together and making an actual plan. I bought my backpack tonight, it's a nice 35L bag. I like it.. tomorrow, we're cleaning the basement. Don't want to leave it in the state of complete entropy it's in right now. Sunday, we're going to.. my going away dinner, I guess. Mongolian Barbecue. Nummy. Tuesday is my flight. I've got a reservation at the Green Tortoise Hostel for Tuesday Night, Wednesday Night and Thursday Night. I've e-mailed my Uncle to see if I can crash with him Friday and Saturday Nights. I have an appointment with Terri, of Kelly Services in Downtown Seattle Wednesday at 1.30p. She has a job I might be able to fill, so if so that'll go well. I'm also going to be spending some of my time next week looking for a room to rent. If all the pieces fall together properly, I'll have a job and a place to live in the first week of March. This is ideal.
Let's see.. buying the backpack made me seriously think about the possibilities of hiking. There are a fair number of parks and forests in and around Seattle. It might be fun to go hiking in the Olympic Forest. Just saying.
Among various longterm plans, I'm planning to save up and purchase myself a Dell 1525N Laptop. That'll be useful. I spoke with Jared last night about it, and he helped me decide how to go about it. Y'see, Dell loves to ridiculously rip you off for things. Like Upgrades. To go from 1 GB of DDR2 667 to 4GB of the same speed costs $400 from Dell. I can by 2x2GB DDR2 800 by Mushkin from NewEgg for $119. Yeah. I'll probably also upgrade the HDD in a similar fashion. Get myself a hot little 320GB for less than the 160GB upgrade. To go along with the laptop, I'm also debating a Bluetooth GPS Receiver. The Holux GPSlim-240 is looking pretty tasty to me right now. For a couple reasons. The first is that combined with Kismet, you can create Maps that are color-coded by Signal Strength. I think it'd be fun to start mapping out the Open Wifi around Seattle. Also, I've been thinking about what Mobile Computing really means. Most people think of embedded devices, Cell Phones, PDAs, etc. I'm thinking along different lines.. being as interested in Game Development as I am, I think it'd be intriguing to make a sort of MUD/MMORPG/Thing where you can find various items and mobs based on where you physically are. Sort of like Geocaching meets Multiplayer RPG. I think it'd be intriguing. Although, honestly, I'd love to have myself a practical pair of AR Glasses. Coupled with an OQO, I think I would be in heaven. Just the various.. things I could do with that. Especially if I could convince an OQO to run Ubuntu. That would make for some seriously interesting gaming. But then, once AR hits, it will add a very intriguing level to gaming. Imagine, for instance, walking down the street and seeing dozens of virtual people walking among the crowds. Or seeing your friend overlaid with a suit of armor. Yeah, it's a bit of a pipedream, but if I could find a set of not-too-bulky AR Glasses (Read: VR Glasses that are Transparent. That overlay the vision.), and get my paws on an OQO, I'd probably start working on it for kicks.
There are other things bouncing around in my head, but those are the two big ones. Finally, I was talking to James, and I decided to look up the club scene around Seattle. Looks like there're around a dozen Dance Clubs. Not sure how many play Good Music, but it does look like there might be some enjoyment to be had there. Alright folks. I'll catch you tomorrow.
First, I've been linking up my plans. This is different from what I've been doing previously, where I've been more or less just contemplating the various possibilities. Now, I'm actually tying all of them together and making an actual plan. I bought my backpack tonight, it's a nice 35L bag. I like it.. tomorrow, we're cleaning the basement. Don't want to leave it in the state of complete entropy it's in right now. Sunday, we're going to.. my going away dinner, I guess. Mongolian Barbecue. Nummy. Tuesday is my flight. I've got a reservation at the Green Tortoise Hostel for Tuesday Night, Wednesday Night and Thursday Night. I've e-mailed my Uncle to see if I can crash with him Friday and Saturday Nights. I have an appointment with Terri, of Kelly Services in Downtown Seattle Wednesday at 1.30p. She has a job I might be able to fill, so if so that'll go well. I'm also going to be spending some of my time next week looking for a room to rent. If all the pieces fall together properly, I'll have a job and a place to live in the first week of March. This is ideal.
Let's see.. buying the backpack made me seriously think about the possibilities of hiking. There are a fair number of parks and forests in and around Seattle. It might be fun to go hiking in the Olympic Forest. Just saying.
Among various longterm plans, I'm planning to save up and purchase myself a Dell 1525N Laptop. That'll be useful. I spoke with Jared last night about it, and he helped me decide how to go about it. Y'see, Dell loves to ridiculously rip you off for things. Like Upgrades. To go from 1 GB of DDR2 667 to 4GB of the same speed costs $400 from Dell. I can by 2x2GB DDR2 800 by Mushkin from NewEgg for $119. Yeah. I'll probably also upgrade the HDD in a similar fashion. Get myself a hot little 320GB for less than the 160GB upgrade. To go along with the laptop, I'm also debating a Bluetooth GPS Receiver. The Holux GPSlim-240 is looking pretty tasty to me right now. For a couple reasons. The first is that combined with Kismet, you can create Maps that are color-coded by Signal Strength. I think it'd be fun to start mapping out the Open Wifi around Seattle. Also, I've been thinking about what Mobile Computing really means. Most people think of embedded devices, Cell Phones, PDAs, etc. I'm thinking along different lines.. being as interested in Game Development as I am, I think it'd be intriguing to make a sort of MUD/MMORPG/Thing where you can find various items and mobs based on where you physically are. Sort of like Geocaching meets Multiplayer RPG. I think it'd be intriguing. Although, honestly, I'd love to have myself a practical pair of AR Glasses. Coupled with an OQO, I think I would be in heaven. Just the various.. things I could do with that. Especially if I could convince an OQO to run Ubuntu. That would make for some seriously interesting gaming. But then, once AR hits, it will add a very intriguing level to gaming. Imagine, for instance, walking down the street and seeing dozens of virtual people walking among the crowds. Or seeing your friend overlaid with a suit of armor. Yeah, it's a bit of a pipedream, but if I could find a set of not-too-bulky AR Glasses (Read: VR Glasses that are Transparent. That overlay the vision.), and get my paws on an OQO, I'd probably start working on it for kicks.
There are other things bouncing around in my head, but those are the two big ones. Finally, I was talking to James, and I decided to look up the club scene around Seattle. Looks like there're around a dozen Dance Clubs. Not sure how many play Good Music, but it does look like there might be some enjoyment to be had there. Alright folks. I'll catch you tomorrow.
Scrivened by
Heinous Tugboat
--
12:59 AM
Topics:
Augmented Reality,
Mobile Computing,
Plans,
Seattle
2.19.2008
The Plan So Far...
So. I have a week left. Tomorrow's my last day here at work. I'm going to talk to Jane regarding the contact out in Seattle, hopefully she can at least give me their phone number. I'm having trouble because I'm not really sure what steps to take right now to help get me where I need to be. I can't stay at the Hostel for more than 7 days at a time, and I'm not sure how frequently that is. So right now, it's looking like I'll be sleeping in the Hostel Tuesday night through Thursday night. I'd like to spend the weekend up with Larry's Family, if at all possible. If all goes truly well and good, I'll be able to secure a room by the end of next week. That way I'll have a place to live. Hopefully I'll also have a job that'll start the week after next as well. That's where Jane comes in. So, I've got a week left. And I'm getting more and more nervous as time goes on. My mum gave me two pieces of luggage, one enormous rolly-wheel-bag, and a little Teal Sport bag. I also am planning to head up to Easton sometime this week and prop up some cash for a Decent Backpack for toting about Seattle. Friday we're having a cleaning date. Sunday we're having a Going-away Dinner. In between, I'm beating a Full-length Firefly Marathon into James. We're about halfway through. And writing. I'll also have to take care to retrieve all of my music and data from my HD. Probably going to delete a good chunk of it. I'm not real fond of my Tom Waits or KMFDM Discogs. And they're bloody huge.
So far, so good. Then there are the doubts. Those aching shadows that permeate my deeper thoughts. The ones that say "What if?" and never give a good response. As it is, I'll not voice their concerns. To communicate them to the world, to give them the power of words and commit them to writing, is to give them a strength I'm not sure I could endure.
This is life. I will succeed, come hell or high water. I will have a job by March 1st. I will very likely have a place to live by March 1st. And then, we'll see what happens.
So far, so good. Then there are the doubts. Those aching shadows that permeate my deeper thoughts. The ones that say "What if?" and never give a good response. As it is, I'll not voice their concerns. To communicate them to the world, to give them the power of words and commit them to writing, is to give them a strength I'm not sure I could endure.
This is life. I will succeed, come hell or high water. I will have a job by March 1st. I will very likely have a place to live by March 1st. And then, we'll see what happens.
2.17.2008
The Future
So, I didn't post last night. Had myself a little Firefly Marathon. Damn fine show, Highly Recommended. If you know me, you know that's high praise. I don't watch TV. I don't really watch Movies. But Firefly and Serenity, are extremely good. It's well written, well thought out, somewhat realistic for a world set 500 years in the future.
I've been thinking.. and letting the future unfold gradually before my thoughts. And it scares me. On many, many levels. My personal future is starting to blossom, and many paths are unraveling before me, waiting for the myriad choices I will have to make in the coming weeks. There are only two results for these paths in the nearest of ends, and that is that I will either succeed in Seattle, or I will not. If I don't, I will make a return trek to Columbus, gather myself, and determine what steps to take next. However, if I do, then there stand again another full myriad of choices and paths. I care not to contemplate these paths, as they are irrelevant presently. I focus on the now, and on tomorrow. The next week sits powerfully in my mind, enticing me forward and coercing me to taking careful steps. On a much grander scale, it is the future of this country that disturbs me. You see, I deeply wish I could hold a pride in my homeland. I wish I could comfortably say "I'm an American". It's not because I hate this country, it's because the future of it, drastic change notwithstanding, is down. I hope, fervently, that we can pull the country up from its endless downward cycle.. I'm not sure anything can, but I do hope for it.
I don't have much else to say, and have work tomorrow, so I'll hopefully get some more written. My goal is to write up at least another piece or two for world building. G'night all.
I've been thinking.. and letting the future unfold gradually before my thoughts. And it scares me. On many, many levels. My personal future is starting to blossom, and many paths are unraveling before me, waiting for the myriad choices I will have to make in the coming weeks. There are only two results for these paths in the nearest of ends, and that is that I will either succeed in Seattle, or I will not. If I don't, I will make a return trek to Columbus, gather myself, and determine what steps to take next. However, if I do, then there stand again another full myriad of choices and paths. I care not to contemplate these paths, as they are irrelevant presently. I focus on the now, and on tomorrow. The next week sits powerfully in my mind, enticing me forward and coercing me to taking careful steps. On a much grander scale, it is the future of this country that disturbs me. You see, I deeply wish I could hold a pride in my homeland. I wish I could comfortably say "I'm an American". It's not because I hate this country, it's because the future of it, drastic change notwithstanding, is down. I hope, fervently, that we can pull the country up from its endless downward cycle.. I'm not sure anything can, but I do hope for it.
I don't have much else to say, and have work tomorrow, so I'll hopefully get some more written. My goal is to write up at least another piece or two for world building. G'night all.
2.15.2008
Passion, Life and the Neverending Struggle
This Post was backdated due to my laziness. It was written early morning on the 16th.
Tonight, I'm going to chat about Passion in a somewhat more rational way. For those of you that describe my writing as though I was "raping your mind". You see, Passion is this incredible thing. It will drive people to the ends of the world. It will drive explorers to go places that no man has gone before, simply for the passion inside of them that refuses to let them stay in one place. Passion is what has built this world from long before the industrial revolution into the world it is now, a scant 200 years later.
I spoke with one of my closest friends about passion, and he told me that Passion can burn you out. That passion is hard to find. I can't just disagree with him, because they're both good points. But the way Passion burns you out is unique, I think. Passion forms a feedback cycle with you.. mind, body and whole. It will eat every spare thought in your mind when you're caught in its fiery throes, but every ounce of energy it saps, its restores two ounces. For every moment it consumes you, it gives you two more. Passion can make life fulfilling, and a life that is fulfilled is a life that is truly lived.
You know, Passion is hard to find. But I don't think it's hard to find because we're unaware of it. I think it's hard to find because it's difficult to find the strength of soul to really evaluate it. We are all passionate about things. Our passions, even when uncultured and unexplored, drive our hobbies. They drive our existence, our relationships, our social frameworks. People, it seems, just have an innate problem with believing that they can truly pursue these passions. They refuse to believe that if they actually grasp it, and embrace what they love, that they may actually succeed and exist successfully. Many people think to themselves, "Gee. Wouldn't it be great to do this all the time?" or "I wish I could do that. It would make me so happy.", and they always tell themselves that it's foolish to actually try. That if they were to do this, they would sacrifice everything they've achieved so far. They would risk stability, financial wellbeing, and their relationships. And I won't lie, anyone can tell you that honesty is extremely important to me. It is one of my deepest values. But trying to embrace your passion can truthfully be extremely difficult. It does require careful planning, and it is difficult to first get into. The money doesn't just appear overnight, there is a struggle there. But with the famous parable of the Caterpillar and the Butterfly, struggle truly forces you to grow. And once you've breached that important goal, once you spread your wings, you really can live a life that many people can only dream of. If you don't believe me, just look around you. There are countless, and I do mean countless, people that do this exact thing on a daily basis. Every single day of the year, someone is breaking from their stability to do something they honestly love, and they will succeed.
So, I say this to you. Discover what it is that you love. The best advice I've ever received is to think of what you would do even if you wouldn't get paid for it. And then do it. I'm not saying to quit your job and leave your family. That is an extremely difficult decision that depends on so many external variables that I can't say that. But if you do what you love, and you do daily, eventually you will find a way to move that to your primary existence and migrate away from the life that so many people absolutely abhor. But all it takes is that doing. If you perform the action, if you engage your passion, eventually it will take over and you will find yourself the opportunities needed for success. All I'm asking, is that you do it. If your passion is writing, then write. Every day. Put ink to paper, or keys to screen, and write. It doesn't matter what you write, it doesn't matter if there's any quality there. All that matters is that you do it. If people don't like it, ignore them. If people say that what you're doing is horrible in quality, ignore them. Just because you have a passion, doesn't mean you're a master at it. But if you do it, every day, you will become a master. You will become an expert. But if you never take the first step, then you can never take the last step.
It really is that simple.
And tonight, I leave you with another quote. One that applies, perhaps not to starting, but one that does apply to passion.
"The question is not how far. The question is.. do you possess the constitution.. and depth of faith.. to go as far as is needed?"
2.13.2008
Motivations for a Curious Decision
Mm. Not much to chortle out today. Got a wonderful example of the myriad things I've been learning in class, when one person got offended when another attempted to honestly express himself. It was comical. Any who, I keep getting this reinforced message that, frankly, people will listen and heed what I tell them. That, if I try to shove some strange concept down into a person's brain, once it finds its little hole and settles in, that concept almost becomes unshakable. Did I mention that the person that pioneered a significant portion of what we're learning apparently shares my type? This amuses me because I'm one of those weird types where we're basically all across the board. The only things we really have in common are that we're absolutely infatuated with change, and that we naturally integrate the world between various futures, ideas, concepts and ourselves in a strikingly logical manner.
I was asked, yesterday, how many people actual read this. I responded, not many. I always write for a crowd that doesn't truly exist. I don't know why, but it makes sense to me. On some level, if you write for the masses, the masses will eventually pay attention. That'd be neat, and great, and splendid. But I don't really care. This is a dumping ground.. a place where I can expel all of my mental waste produced throughout the day. Mind you, the next two weeks, as well as this past week, will be like a great, awkward enema, blowing the smelly, ancient bits of emotional and mental cruft from the deepest recesses of my brain, in preparation to truly experience the Emerald City in all of its glorious newness to me.
Seattle. The number one question I get regarding my impending trip, is "Why?". A very valid question, most certainly. Also the most difficult to answer unless you bloody well live inside of my head, or share a lot of mental processes with me. You see, the reasons why are almost innumerable. However, I'm certain I can distill them down into a few basic reasons. This won't really scratch the multi ameliorate connections that tie each of these together in infinitesimal ways, but if you were able to appreciate that, you really wouldn't need the distillation. And yes, as an aside, I do use flowery language. But it is most certainly true, I can always find new, minuscule connections between the core reasons of most things I do. This, especially.
The first, foremost, and most powerful reason is simply Change. I am in Columbus. In less than two weeks, I will be in Seattle. There are few things you can change more than location, especially at that magnitude. They are two very different cities, cultures, and areas of the country. However, this change burns far deeper than simply location. I will be effectually homeless, jobless, friendless, and essentially without anything. I am packing only my clothing and most bare essentials for existence. I will take little with me but my body, those necessities, and my soul. This, I suspect, is a deeper and more true reason for the change. To allow me to cleanse myself, spiritually. To extract from all the cruft and accumulations of time the core of my person. If you're reading carefully, you'll start to notice what I meant about the thousands of minute connections. Just within this one concept, this one core idea, I can make hundreds of ties that are all purely internally. All I can say is, think of every little connection you can, and know that that is quite likely also a very valid part of my reason.
The next reason is Opportunity. They say that Opportunity does not simply appear, that you must make your own opportunity. Well, in and around Seattle are multiple Gaming Studios. Presumably, because there are many gamers in and around Seattle. If this is true, then perhaps I will finally be able to find my team. For those of you who know what that means, good. For the rest, just know that I need a team to help me work on my projects. Or, that perhaps I need a team that I can help work on their projects. I don't try to define it, I simply know that I cannot do what I need to, alone. I must seek and find partners that are willing and able to assist me in their own capacities.
A third reason, and the last of the most powerful ones, is Growth. A plant eventually outgrows its pot. One's mind and soul eventually outgrows its shell, or skin. This is a transplant, for me, in a sense of the idea. I am attempting to tear at my current skin, my current shell or bowl, and pull it away so that I might be able to spread my roots wider, deeper and more effectively. It's a drastic way of doing so, but both in light of the other two reasons, as well as in light of myself, I think that this is probably the cleanest, most efficient way to do what I feel needs to be done. If I do wind up back in Columbus in the short term, then at the very least I will have the room to grow creatively, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I will have cast aside my previous skin even if I find myself rooted to the same location.
These are my reasons, and they are reasons that I own with all of my being. I don't particularly expect or care if they make sense to you, but I will tell you this. This is a bare honesty I'm sharing with you. There are no lies in these previous paragraphs. Frequently, I would daresay, you are receiving a curious edge from me on this blog. This time, you are feeling the full swing of my dominant function.
If are an Intuitor, then this will all make perfect sense to you. I might even hope that it could inspire you. However, if you are a Sensor, then you will see blank concepts. Stark, logical constructs with little relation and a decision that ultimately likely makes little sense as well. If the latter is true, please feel free to ask me, and perhaps we can use another function to truly connect, and this will allow you some of the delight and glory I feel in these words. Maybe we can even convince you to catch a glimmer of the future in yourself as well.
As it is, I will be off to bed soon, so farewell and goodnight.
I was asked, yesterday, how many people actual read this. I responded, not many. I always write for a crowd that doesn't truly exist. I don't know why, but it makes sense to me. On some level, if you write for the masses, the masses will eventually pay attention. That'd be neat, and great, and splendid. But I don't really care. This is a dumping ground.. a place where I can expel all of my mental waste produced throughout the day. Mind you, the next two weeks, as well as this past week, will be like a great, awkward enema, blowing the smelly, ancient bits of emotional and mental cruft from the deepest recesses of my brain, in preparation to truly experience the Emerald City in all of its glorious newness to me.
Seattle. The number one question I get regarding my impending trip, is "Why?". A very valid question, most certainly. Also the most difficult to answer unless you bloody well live inside of my head, or share a lot of mental processes with me. You see, the reasons why are almost innumerable. However, I'm certain I can distill them down into a few basic reasons. This won't really scratch the multi ameliorate connections that tie each of these together in infinitesimal ways, but if you were able to appreciate that, you really wouldn't need the distillation. And yes, as an aside, I do use flowery language. But it is most certainly true, I can always find new, minuscule connections between the core reasons of most things I do. This, especially.
The first, foremost, and most powerful reason is simply Change. I am in Columbus. In less than two weeks, I will be in Seattle. There are few things you can change more than location, especially at that magnitude. They are two very different cities, cultures, and areas of the country. However, this change burns far deeper than simply location. I will be effectually homeless, jobless, friendless, and essentially without anything. I am packing only my clothing and most bare essentials for existence. I will take little with me but my body, those necessities, and my soul. This, I suspect, is a deeper and more true reason for the change. To allow me to cleanse myself, spiritually. To extract from all the cruft and accumulations of time the core of my person. If you're reading carefully, you'll start to notice what I meant about the thousands of minute connections. Just within this one concept, this one core idea, I can make hundreds of ties that are all purely internally. All I can say is, think of every little connection you can, and know that that is quite likely also a very valid part of my reason.
The next reason is Opportunity. They say that Opportunity does not simply appear, that you must make your own opportunity. Well, in and around Seattle are multiple Gaming Studios. Presumably, because there are many gamers in and around Seattle. If this is true, then perhaps I will finally be able to find my team. For those of you who know what that means, good. For the rest, just know that I need a team to help me work on my projects. Or, that perhaps I need a team that I can help work on their projects. I don't try to define it, I simply know that I cannot do what I need to, alone. I must seek and find partners that are willing and able to assist me in their own capacities.
A third reason, and the last of the most powerful ones, is Growth. A plant eventually outgrows its pot. One's mind and soul eventually outgrows its shell, or skin. This is a transplant, for me, in a sense of the idea. I am attempting to tear at my current skin, my current shell or bowl, and pull it away so that I might be able to spread my roots wider, deeper and more effectively. It's a drastic way of doing so, but both in light of the other two reasons, as well as in light of myself, I think that this is probably the cleanest, most efficient way to do what I feel needs to be done. If I do wind up back in Columbus in the short term, then at the very least I will have the room to grow creatively, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I will have cast aside my previous skin even if I find myself rooted to the same location.
These are my reasons, and they are reasons that I own with all of my being. I don't particularly expect or care if they make sense to you, but I will tell you this. This is a bare honesty I'm sharing with you. There are no lies in these previous paragraphs. Frequently, I would daresay, you are receiving a curious edge from me on this blog. This time, you are feeling the full swing of my dominant function.
If are an Intuitor, then this will all make perfect sense to you. I might even hope that it could inspire you. However, if you are a Sensor, then you will see blank concepts. Stark, logical constructs with little relation and a decision that ultimately likely makes little sense as well. If the latter is true, please feel free to ask me, and perhaps we can use another function to truly connect, and this will allow you some of the delight and glory I feel in these words. Maybe we can even convince you to catch a glimmer of the future in yourself as well.
As it is, I will be off to bed soon, so farewell and goodnight.
2.10.2008
New Home..
So, yeah. I realized how much Livejournal blows. So, I'm going to try out Blogspot. I've moved my two whole posts over from there. I'll probably be tweaking the layout/style when I have the chance, since I'm less happy with the immediate appearance, but it's easier to edit. Weird, huh.
Anywho.. I'm going to get myself a notebook and start doing some more worldbuilding here. Nothing today, but then, I've been reasonably busy. Went up to me mum's D&S group today, to finalize my plans for the week. I'm apparently going to be pimped out to the guy running the class, and get to show up nice and early in the morning to make coffee and whatnot. Fun. Also, at the D&S meeting, they had a guy droning on about Group Dynamics.. something I have a special place in my heart about. I'll write about that more later this week. Might actually be halfway intelligent as I'm going to be getting a shite ton of info rammed into my head regarding people and communication.. that being what the MBTI's all about.
With regards to my wee little world, I'm going to gather up all of the documentation I can, and try and get it printed out sometime in the next two weeks. That way I'll be able to do work on it away from a terminal. Eventually, I'll be petitioning some of my friends to help me out on it, but I do know they're all busy-folk. If you're keen on helping, let me know.. drop an e-mail or a comment. Anywho, I've got other stuff to take care of right now so I'ma finish this up. Expect some more added to my previous excerpt, and maybe a start into Group Dynamics.. I should buy a book on that.
Oh, also, these posts that I'm writing at 11:59? Yeah, that's a lie. I'm backdating them since I want to keep the days right. My days normally run from late morning/early afternoon to after midnight. So even though it's after 12:30 AM, it's still the 10th to me. Yeah, I'm weird. Sorry.
Anywho.. I'm going to get myself a notebook and start doing some more worldbuilding here. Nothing today, but then, I've been reasonably busy. Went up to me mum's D&S group today, to finalize my plans for the week. I'm apparently going to be pimped out to the guy running the class, and get to show up nice and early in the morning to make coffee and whatnot. Fun. Also, at the D&S meeting, they had a guy droning on about Group Dynamics.. something I have a special place in my heart about. I'll write about that more later this week. Might actually be halfway intelligent as I'm going to be getting a shite ton of info rammed into my head regarding people and communication.. that being what the MBTI's all about.
With regards to my wee little world, I'm going to gather up all of the documentation I can, and try and get it printed out sometime in the next two weeks. That way I'll be able to do work on it away from a terminal. Eventually, I'll be petitioning some of my friends to help me out on it, but I do know they're all busy-folk. If you're keen on helping, let me know.. drop an e-mail or a comment. Anywho, I've got other stuff to take care of right now so I'ma finish this up. Expect some more added to my previous excerpt, and maybe a start into Group Dynamics.. I should buy a book on that.
Oh, also, these posts that I'm writing at 11:59? Yeah, that's a lie. I'm backdating them since I want to keep the days right. My days normally run from late morning/early afternoon to after midnight. So even though it's after 12:30 AM, it's still the 10th to me. Yeah, I'm weird. Sorry.
2.08.2008
Rambly one today..
So, I've been thinking about various things.. In theory, sometime today, my boss is supposed to tell my supervisor that I'll be quitting in a week and a half. That'll be cute, I'm sure.
I've been slowly evaluating this trip to Seattle, and the various possibilities that are slowly laying outstretched before me.. and I find them all incredibly intriguing. Next week, something I haven't really told many people, I'm going to a week-long certification program to become an, apparently, Certified MBTI Instructor. Now, basically what this means, is that when I'm explaining to people what Myers-Briggs is, and why it's relevant, I won't really be blowing quite so much smoke. This is, in general, a good thing. I adore the MBTI programs, and love looking at the interactions between people from this perspective.. and I honestly should more often, because I realize that I tend to blast my way through things that might tend to be emotionally disruptive to others. Always entirely accidentally, too. I try to be more cognizant of this, but I rarely succeed.
So, this is next week. The week of Valentine's. I don't know what opportunities are lurking here, and Susan tends to be fairly quiet when it involves such things. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she springs something on me that would cause me to cut my trip to Seattle short, and come back to Columbus. Yes, there are things that would do that.. I'm going out to Seattle, I have decided this. But whether or not I come back is open to an almost infinite set of variables. Not even the best Chaos Theorist could make an adequate prediction at this junction in my life. After that, my existence, as I am currently familiar with it, begins to dissolve. I will be back here at work for three days.. that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.. then I'll idling, preparing, from Thursday through the next Tuesday. That next Tuesday is my flight out to Seattle, where I kiss Columbus Good Bye.. I'll know more closer, as to how soon I'll be back.. but right now it's looking to be on the order of 6 Months..
Here is the plan, as I see it. I'll finish next week, and the week after. I'll get all my gear cleaned up and straightened up, likely keeping my server running so I can keep some kind of presence out in Seattle, and at the very least poke at it remotely when I feel the need. Most of my music will get put on my Vibez, and I will stuff my flash drive with as much additional as I need. Between the two, I'll have 16 GB of portable storage for whatever. I'm pretty much letting James have (use) Frostburn, presuming he doesn't hurt my baby. I'll be sure and have everything I need off both Frostburn -and- Bobomb before I leave, so even if all 3 HDs crash, I still have my imperative data, config files, and whatnot. The really important stuff'll get stashed on my Mushkin Flashdrive, my Vibez -and- my Cruzer. Because I'm a spaz. So, after I've got everything scrubbed, sorted and organized, I'm ready to head out to Seattle. Once out there, I'll try to get a job, a place to stay, and do some general wandering. I pretty much plan on playing it entirely by ear once I'm in the vicinity. Hopefully, within a few weeks, I'll be able to get myself into an apartment, and then, if necessary, get myself a little car. Once these two things happen, I pretty much start surviving. If this all goes according to plan, I will likely come back to Columbus near the end of the summer to visit people, make sure everyone knows I'm still alive, and hang out. Assuming James actually manages to get his arse in gear by then, I'll, theoretically, return to Seattle with him in tow.
That's the plan. Gods above know there are a thousand different ways it can all get fucked up.
I've been slowly evaluating this trip to Seattle, and the various possibilities that are slowly laying outstretched before me.. and I find them all incredibly intriguing. Next week, something I haven't really told many people, I'm going to a week-long certification program to become an, apparently, Certified MBTI Instructor. Now, basically what this means, is that when I'm explaining to people what Myers-Briggs is, and why it's relevant, I won't really be blowing quite so much smoke. This is, in general, a good thing. I adore the MBTI programs, and love looking at the interactions between people from this perspective.. and I honestly should more often, because I realize that I tend to blast my way through things that might tend to be emotionally disruptive to others. Always entirely accidentally, too. I try to be more cognizant of this, but I rarely succeed.
So, this is next week. The week of Valentine's. I don't know what opportunities are lurking here, and Susan tends to be fairly quiet when it involves such things. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she springs something on me that would cause me to cut my trip to Seattle short, and come back to Columbus. Yes, there are things that would do that.. I'm going out to Seattle, I have decided this. But whether or not I come back is open to an almost infinite set of variables. Not even the best Chaos Theorist could make an adequate prediction at this junction in my life. After that, my existence, as I am currently familiar with it, begins to dissolve. I will be back here at work for three days.. that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.. then I'll idling, preparing, from Thursday through the next Tuesday. That next Tuesday is my flight out to Seattle, where I kiss Columbus Good Bye.. I'll know more closer, as to how soon I'll be back.. but right now it's looking to be on the order of 6 Months..
Here is the plan, as I see it. I'll finish next week, and the week after. I'll get all my gear cleaned up and straightened up, likely keeping my server running so I can keep some kind of presence out in Seattle, and at the very least poke at it remotely when I feel the need. Most of my music will get put on my Vibez, and I will stuff my flash drive with as much additional as I need. Between the two, I'll have 16 GB of portable storage for whatever. I'm pretty much letting James have (use) Frostburn, presuming he doesn't hurt my baby. I'll be sure and have everything I need off both Frostburn -and- Bobomb before I leave, so even if all 3 HDs crash, I still have my imperative data, config files, and whatnot. The really important stuff'll get stashed on my Mushkin Flashdrive, my Vibez -and- my Cruzer. Because I'm a spaz. So, after I've got everything scrubbed, sorted and organized, I'm ready to head out to Seattle. Once out there, I'll try to get a job, a place to stay, and do some general wandering. I pretty much plan on playing it entirely by ear once I'm in the vicinity. Hopefully, within a few weeks, I'll be able to get myself into an apartment, and then, if necessary, get myself a little car. Once these two things happen, I pretty much start surviving. If this all goes according to plan, I will likely come back to Columbus near the end of the summer to visit people, make sure everyone knows I'm still alive, and hang out. Assuming James actually manages to get his arse in gear by then, I'll, theoretically, return to Seattle with him in tow.
That's the plan. Gods above know there are a thousand different ways it can all get fucked up.
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